No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
