I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
