you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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