Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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