Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
