Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
