i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
