Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
