handjob tips. give me some.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
