...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
