Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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