I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
