He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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