Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize