Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize