No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How external is "for external use only"?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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