His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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