you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
