Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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