just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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