I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
