My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
