And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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