i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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