4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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