dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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