I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
