did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
