Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was a blind-side dick pic.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize