Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
