Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
