WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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