She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize