i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize