So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
there is glitter all over my balls
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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