Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
