i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
