Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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