They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
