Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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