do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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