I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
