bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
