i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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