I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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