I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
