he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
