dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
