I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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