We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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