So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
