You can't special order awesome
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
