He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
