he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
