I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
