I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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