Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
tell me about the eggs
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
