They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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