we have officially lost it.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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