I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
