I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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