So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
