how can u be prego again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
