She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
